今天主日的領受

我真的很容易回到老我，今天主日時被神提醒，我又開始將那屬世的擺在第一優先了。這樣錯了！神提醒我不可驕傲！祂也安慰我說一切都是祂造的，在祂裡面沒有懼怕。這是界是祂造的，我既然是祂的女兒，我為什麼怕這世界呢？我生命中的每一刻都需要聖靈的引領、提示。我更需要祂的智慧、啟示。盼望我在企研所做的每一件事都是出於祂的，都是和祂心意的，都是見證祂的。希望我不要浪費祂給我的生命，祂既帶我到企研，必有祂的旨意。主啊，不要讓我遠離祢！

Congrats!!!

Hallelujah!
Praise the Lord, the source of life!
Congrats to J&A for a lovely baby daughter!
May God guide her in this wonderful journey of life!

B U T

I've endeavored to accept his viewpoint; I've endeavored to forgive his blunt remarks of wanting to spread rumors about me; I've endeavored to accept him for who he is and to help him out in his areas of need; I've endeavored to empathize and to forgive.
BUT, his 「kai1huijjiujshijyaojzhejyangjkai1」
and his「nifyoujmeidqujguojnifzenfmeszhidaoj」
really pisses me off. Such utter disrespect makes me question whether I should consider him as friend and brother. His lack of empathy puts all his past speech about communication and empathy of others in doubt. My trust and my willingness to be his friend is near extinction.

I've wronged others

So that's what I've been doing. (Ever since last night's meeting)
I've been judging others and subjecting them to my high standards.
These standards don't even come from God, they're simply reflections of my perfectionistic ideals.
I've been so wrong in doing this.
I'm not qualified to judge others.
I cannot impose my standards onto others.
This is one humongous lesson to learn; I have a long way ahead of me.
Help me Lord!

Sigh

This specific change is something that I don't see in proximity. It is so far away that I doubt it's even possible.
I admit that I weigh outcomes millions times more than I weigh processes.
To focus a little more on the process and a little less on the outcome is like asking me to move a mountain with my bare hands.
I agree that I do see the need to focus more on the ambience and the relationships amid a meeting, yet it is against my logic to combine such with the pursuit of outcomes. It is necessary, I agree.
Am I willing to put some effort into making it possible? Yes though with reluctance, for I am not completely sold on this.
Today was horrible. Our relationships did take a gigantic stride backwards; I feel responsible and guilty. Lord, where's the way out of this forest?

Repentance

What others say do affect me. I should not let others' opinions maneuver my perspectives. God should be the only driving force behind that. Lord, renew me everyday. Inspect me so that anything that does not please You is excluded from within me. Cleanse me thoroughly. Any thoughts that do not help myself or others, purify them. Lord, if I am on the way of becoming something You do not like, step on my brakes. Stop me! May I utter words of repentance! Don't let me wander away from You. Don't let my thoughts be the source of others' downfalls. Lord, change me. Have Your way in me.

分享

在跟弟兄姊妹分享交通的過程我得到許多的安慰
雖然有時我還是會質疑神是不是讓我一下知道太多東西
但是在分享中我發現我並不孤單
神給了我一群同伴/家人

神更是讓我發現我們都是罪人，都是有限的人
雖然我們都有同一個主，但是過去的經驗真的會影響一個人後來的行為及思考
當我知道這段過去時，我發現饒恕與體諒更容易了
求神保守我對人有愛心、對神有信心

信心的功課

最近發現我的信心真的好小！
雖然理性上知道祂已得勝，
行為上總是表現小信。
很想改變，但是老我就是這麼固執！
唉～Lord, have your way in me！

為愛和合一禱告（歌詞）

主啊求你憐憫醫治這地
所有紛爭仇恨遠離這地方
求主的愛醫治一切的傷口
你是醫治者 你是真愛的源頭

主啊求你赦免我們一切軟弱
賜我們一顆謙卑愛人的心
求主的愛 撫平一切的傷痕
我們仰望你 你是和平的君王

遵行主教導我們彼此相愛
只有愛能使我們合而為一
心連心 手牽手 我們同心禱告
願真愛充滿每一個角落

不知不覺

不知不覺發現
對神認真原來是這麼美！

I finally understand; I want one too!

Earnestly asking God for a 屬靈同伴！
I finally understand why it's necessary.
After all these years, I finally ask for one.
Thank You for letting me understand.
Lord, please answer me.

天使

每當我覺得不行了，妳們就會出現。
妳們對我說的話都是我需要聽的，都是再次把我帶回天父面前的。
妳們是我生命中的天使！謝謝妳們！

唉，我又來了

我常常忘記我的重擔可以放下
可以交給耶穌

我常常忘記耶穌在那等我

Life

When juggling with life's episodes
There's no escape from the toils and the tills
His grace will suffice!
From under the earth no regrets will come
When that specific day comes

Keeping the faith

The biggest homework I have ahead of me is to learn to keep the faith during terrible times.

I have to learn to focus on God while living in the hectic MBA environment.

I have to develop patience and know that His schedule is different from mine.

I have to keep myself away from the throne of my life. He reigns supreme. Gotta remember that! Gotta remember all this!

No way

Lord are you letting me see too much too soon?
Am I ready to see all this?
You have to be kidding me!
I can't possibly be ready! Uh-uh.

Lord, listen to my cries!

Lord, now is the time when I feel like surrendering. I don't know how I'll get through this. Yes, I guess I finally understand what it means to be lonely in this battle. Only after sharing my concerns with others did it really hit me that no one understands. No one sees eye to eye with me. The burden is so heavy and the journey is so lonely. Jesus you're there, but my faith is dying out. It really is. Can I say that I'm near my defeat? I don't know where I'm going to get the strength to persevere. The flame inside my heart is burning out. I see myself gearing up for a sprint away from God. Lord, how do I stop this? How do I find faith amid this pain? God, take this burden away from me. Give me peace when serving you. Teach me how to praise you during hard times. Have mercy!!! Listen to my cries of help. Respond Lord. Talk to me!

Drained

I feel tired.
Tired in spirit.
Not in body.
No, in body as well.
So tired.
So tired.
So tired.
So, so tired.

Burden of the soul

The missions trip is coming up. Somehow, it's something I'm not yearning for. Something deep within me is dreading a number of elements of this trip. I know that this emotion is not coming from God, but I cannot say that I am free from its shackles either.

Changes are things that I have difficulty accepting and this year's trip is full of changes.

Difference in work styles is also a challenge I must overcome.

It's gonna be an extremely bumpy ride, and I'm not sure if I'll see the end of it. I can't imagine that if I'm falling prisoner to these "changes", what will come of me in grad. school. I'm not anticipating either of these. I'm not enthusiastic about it, at all. God help me. God give me strength and courage and wisdom and faith and humility and so much, so much, so much more.

Cambios

Hay ciertas cosas que no deseo cambiar.
Algunas veces le pido a Dios que no me cambie esas cosas.